After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
