that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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