Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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