yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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