Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
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