I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
handjob tips. give me some.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
