Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
3 2 1 whiskey
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
