omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
