i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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