I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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