Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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