But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
