I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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