before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
