week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
