when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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