What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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