i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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