Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I had to cum in my sink.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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