it's too hot outside to masturbate.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
