I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
