were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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