at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Do vagina's smell?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
