i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
