Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
