if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
