I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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