Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
