After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
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