I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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