i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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