There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
