At least make sure they are 18
Why
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Randomize
