Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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