Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
