you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
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