Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
