just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
