The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
