I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
