i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
