i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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