I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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