I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize