The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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