I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
