real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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