Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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