its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I touched a dick in church today
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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