you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
