We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
