My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I just want nice things and good sex
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize