no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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