i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
