some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
