Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize