i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Randomize
