Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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