yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
please come you make the beer taste better
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
