I can tuck mytits in my pants
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
