we have officially lost it.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
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Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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