the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
