he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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