Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
