There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
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It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
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I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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