im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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