her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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