16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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